Few days ago I received news that a friend had passed on due to cancer. It took me 2 days to accept the fact that she was no longer around, but I still get teary when I think or speak of her… She was one of the good ladies whom I met when I started Zumba - always so energetic, fun, enthusiastic and encouraging. She did Zumba almost everyday, besides other classes. I often told her I really admire her energy and stamina. Though I’m not really a dancing person, watching her dance inspired me to put in more ‘heart’ and simply enjoy the music n steps. We often chatted about traveling and food coz we both love those, shared pictures, experiences, where to eat, what’s nice etc. When Covid happened, with no traveling/gym/eating out/meeting often, we continued to check on each other from time to time, changed our chat topics to what we cooked, shared recipes, shared our days, encouraged each other on stress days (work stress for her n online classes stress for me) and sent food to each other sometimes.
Her death came as a shock to me because when I spoke to her, like 2 weeks ago, she told me she was taking a break from work, was in Singapore v her hubby and that she was planning to move there next year. I told her maybe I’ll plan a trip there to visit her and she said I should. I was happily picturing her finally taking a rest coz she was kind of a workaholic, always busy working. That ‘picture’ was utterly shattered coz the next thing I received was, a message that she had left us n a video of her at her wake. I cannot forget the feeling of reading her hubby’s reply saying that she had passed away, from her number after I texted to check on her, and the funeral was a day before… I was overwhelmed and I couldn’t process that unexpected info at that very moment.
Yesterday, 15.10.21, I went over to the house (with permission from her hubby) to ‘see’ her one last time, to pay respect and to bid a proper farewell. I felt it was sort of like finding a closure for myself too - for me to accept and move forward, since I didn’t get to attend the funeral. It was really the LAST because she chose to scatter her ashes into the sea together with her beloved doggie, Bailey, who passed away end of July due to skin cancer. There will never be a fixed destination to visit or commemorate her…. Somehow, I can see why she chose to do that. It’s very ‘her’ - to be free to go wherever she wanted, together with Bailey. After chatting with her hubby, I found out that she was actually in quite a bad shape in the past few weeks. Her condition deteriorated too fast. He asked me to please forgive her for telling the white lies as she wanted to just leave quietly and did not want us to feel sad or worried. Yes, I understand she probably wanted us to always remember her as the bubbly, happy lady but still, it hit me pretty hard for not knowing what she went through in the past 2 weeks after I last spoke to her. I cannot imagine how she managed to go through that torturous period of time without telling anyone…
Though we have not known each other for long, I’m thankful to have met such a wonderful person. Tears will not mar the smiles she had given us when she was alive. She will be dearly missed. I too hope I can stay as positive and strong as her, sending happy vibes and giving as much to others while I’m still alive, not just people saying some good words after I’m gone. Being able to open our eyes every morning is truly a blessing. Never take anything or anyone for granted, always be grateful/thankful and most importantly, stay healthy + happy. We only have one life. Live it to the fullest so we’ll not have any regrets at the end of it ❤️
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